I know that I have not posted for a few days. and I am sorry. I truly have not felt like myself these last few days. I was full of doubt, anger, and just really weird emotions about me, myself. This all started when all the new fish had to go to lifeguard training. We had to leave the island because the water is to cold and we cant do the skills in a wet suit. Well the company has a really great camp in the San Bernardino National forest. It is called Astro Camp and it is a camp for exactly what it sounds like – astronomy and physics. The camp is in a town called Idyllwild. It is a beautiful town on the mountain side with log cabins and pine trees everywhere. The problem for me was the ride to get to Idyllwild. The mountain road was curvy and spinny and a whole of false!!!! Well needless to say I got sick. and when i get motion sick I get a really bad headache and I get dizzy. I felt like crap Wednesday night and that night we had to do our lifeguard tests. That includes a 550 meter constant swim, a brick underwater retrieval and a small underwater swim. I failed, miserably, the 550 but did everything else alright. The problem was I was really upset with myself cause I failed. I also still felt like crap and it was just was not good.
My bad mood and now altitude sickness was still rampant the next few days. I was able to pass all the life-guarding and CPR skills but I was still really down on myself. I was worried, upset, scared, angry… everything. If I didnt pass this test I could not work for the company and my job would be over! Because I work with kids on a daily bases I need to be able to protect and treat/react to any problem that may or may not happen.
I really did not think I had was it took to do the test. But with a little support from my friends and help from my instructors I was able to push through and rise eight from my fallen seven. I really dont know how I did it… cause I clearly remember starting the test and after just after 2 lap being like “nope.. not happening” … but the next thing I knew I was done, tired and nearly sick, but done. I guess your body just blacks out during traumatic experiences.
lifeguard training was a real growing point for me. I failed, came back and was able to do it. I was able to climb over personal doubt and power through to realize that I can and am able to help people… kids. the ones that mean so much.
I know that this is not a super happy, or cool post with pictures of dolphins or hikes but it is a post that I need to write. I needed to figure out what was in my head so I could face it and make it mine.
I hope this makes since for you all. I hope you all can take just one thing, big or small, and face it, get over your self doubt because you can always rise up…. it might be hard but you can.
” To Fall Seven, Rise Eight”
Go rise up and in the process have an adventure… an adventure into you